As women, we tend to struggle with one word, NO. It’s funny how as a child we learn this word but as we grow up this word brings a sense of shame and guilt along with it.
To be honest, no is a complete sentence. Technically, if I wanted to end this blog post right now, I could most definitely end it right there.
As it gets warmer outside and more events present themselves we tend to struggle with this word the most. And eventually the complete sentence of no turns into an explaining session that sounds like “no, i have to walk my dog tomorrow I really can’t go", or "no I can’t because the kids have this thing and I just don’t think I’ll be able to make it”, or “no but I’ll try to come next time”.
These are all excuses for your real answer, No (Period).
“No is the most powerful word you can say when you don’t use it recklessly" - Nia Long
There's no explanation needed when the word No is spoken. But because of the syndrome of people pleasing, we tend to sign up to things that we shouldn't give our time.
The best way to feel comfortable with the word No is by staying focused on your goals. If you have a goal to make a big purchase or become debt free its hard to complete this goal if you're going to every trip, event, and activity that you're invited to. If you are planning to pass a test, focus on your reasons why you want to complete these milestones. If you want to increase your income focus on learning new skills and build up the skills you already possess so that when the time comes you are ready to move into that higher paying job.
When you struggle with the word NO ask yourself:
Will this help me complete my goals?
Does this take me away from the plan or goal at hand?
Will there be a consequence that will set me back if I say yes?
This will keep you focused on your goals and keep you aligned so that you are not attending every trip, every pool party, or whatever else pops up during the warmer months. A simple no will suffice with no explanation needed.