Valentine's Day just passed and there may be some fresh breakups because of this love holiday. Maybe not, but if you are currently dealing with a breakup there are ways to move past the hurt and pain that comes with an ended relationship.
It doesn't matter if you have been in this relationship for years or months, each woman needs to take time to mourn your relationship. Yes, I said mourn! It's a death of a relationship, a death of bond, it may be a death of unfulfilled promises, and for others a death of a friendship.
For this reason, it's best to take time to cry it out and deal with your emotions when that song comes on and reminds you of that person, or when you drive past that place that you two lived in or loved to eat at. There are going to be times when even seeing mutual friends may be awkward but if you deal with your emotions privately when you are in public you won't have a meltdown, spazz out, or pop off.
You also want to write out or think out what happened in the relationship. What did you do wrong and what did he do wrong. Think about what you could have done differently in certain situations. No one is perfect, sis, and for that reason, we all must evaluate ourselves in the relationship so that we don't repeat these things in the next relationship.
I know I know, it's his fault, he did this and he did that but we as women have our faults too. And working through our issues when single will strengthen you in those weak areas so it's not a rinse and repeat situation.
After your breakup, it's easy to want to be placed back on the market and thot it out for a minute but hun I caution you. As much as we want to be the man at times and live life with no feelings at some point it will all manifest and the layers of hurt will be a lot to deal with all at once.
Don't believe me? Have you been in a relationship and your man told you that he liked your hair a certain way? And because he liked your hair a certain way that's the way you always wore your hair. Now the relationship is over and you wear your hair however you like. But then the next man comes, ya'll get into a relationship and he says he likes your hair a particular way and you roll your eyes, roll your neck, and rebel against him because "no man will ever tell me how to wear my hair" (while clapping, just so you get the full picture).
You see how these start small and then bloom into a full vineyard of problems.
So how can you deal with this, you ask? Since words have power, say the things that he told you about yourself out loud like "you shouldn't wear red hair" and change that statement to "I am fearlessly and wonderfully made and can wear any hairstyle or color I choose because it doesn't define me. I am not my hair".
Repeating this powerful statements will release you from the bondage of those words that start to make you think that you are only great if, you are only beautiful when you are only enough this way.
No sis, you were enough before him and you will definitely be enough after.
If you want to take this to the next level, write these powerful statements out on your mirror in your bathroom (with an erasable marker, of course) and say them out loud. Not the statements that he said to you but the statements that you are replacing his harsh words with. As you overcome each statement erase it until they are all gone.
Moral of the story is that when you are dealing with a breakup first you want to mourn your relationship, heal from your past, and then mentally move on.
What tips do you have for those dealing with a breakup? Comment below.